


I don’t deserve you (but fate thinks I do)

by Zola206



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angsty Tony, Fluff, I really like soulmate aus okay, I'm Bad At Tagging, Kind of bad angst, M/M, Maybe a happy ending, Prompt Fic, Red Strings, Soulmate AU, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, but not really, we’ll see
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-10 01:47:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18650425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zola206/pseuds/Zola206
Summary: Tony Stark has always been able to see the colorful strings that connected people to their soulmate. He has also been able to change those strings. Not that he has ever done that. Or ever will for that matter.Buck hasn’t been able to see the strings since HYDRA, but maybe that’s for the best. After all, he feels better about his mess of feelings if he doesn’t know who everyone’s tied to.Or in which a mechanic and a super soldier are connected by fate but won’t admit it to one another. Or anyone else.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by a prompt I found but then changed slightly. Timelines in this story are not canon like at all.o

For as long as Tony Stark has known, he could see the colorful strings tied around every person’s pinkie finger. It was just a thing that he thought they everyone could do.

He didn’t know why Howard yelled at him when he mentioned it.

~~~

When Tony was five he found out that not everyone could see the bright strings attached to pinkie fingers. He had asked about them to Jarvis, who calmly explained that everyone had a soulmate. Each soulmate was attached to each other by a string around their finger. Each pair or group of soulmates had a unique color. If one soulmate could see the string then their partner could too.

Tony’s string was red.

~~~

Howard and Maria’s strings didn’t connect. Howard’s was a darker blue than Maria’s. It explained a lot about their relationship.

Tony hopes he wouldn’t end up like them.

~~~

Tony was nine when he figured out that he could change fate. Apparently people who can see the strings can alter them, cut them, switch them, re-knot them, etc. 

He never tries. He doesn’t want to be controlling like Howard. He doesn’t want to be anything like Howard.

~~~

Tony is twelve when he learns that if you tug on the string your soulmate can feel it. He tugs the red string whenever he feels like it.

He never gets a tug back.

~~~

Tony meets Rhodey. Rhodey has a lavender string that looked longer than most. He tells his best friend this and Rhodey just shrugs.

Years later Rhodey comes back from a tour in Iraq. He no longer has a string. Tony tells Rhodey. Rhodey knows. 

“One of my war buddies can see the strings. He said it disappeared mid-battle one day.” Tony hugs Rhodey tight, knowing that his best friend’s soulmate is either dead or doesn’t want him.

Tony doesn’t know which is worse

~~~

Tony meets Pepper. She has a dark green string and a strong personality. Tony likes her instantly. 

He meets Happy and sees the same string as Pepper’s on his finger. Tony doesn’t tell either of them but does put them together a lot. He hopes that they figure it out themselves.

They do. A few months after they meet, Tony catches them on a date. He says something sassy and then leaves them alone. As he walks away he stares at the red string on his finger.

Maybe he should just leave it alone. Who would want Tony Stark anyway? He’s loud and sarcastic and has horrible self-preservation skills. He’s not worthy of a soulmate. 

~~~

He goes to Afghanistan. He gets tortured. He gets a car battery placed in his chest and builds Mark 1.

Some days the only thing that keeps him going is tugging on the red string and hoping that someone might tug back.

It never works.

~~~

He builds Iron Man. He gets betrayed. He announces himself to the world at a press conference. 

He tugs at the red string.

~~~

He meets the Avengers. Thor doesn’t have a string, soulmates aren’t a thing on Asgard apparently. But Thor can see the strings. And maybe that’s worse.

Natasha’s and Clint’s strings are attached. They seem to know it too. The strings are yellow. Odd that such a cheery color was given to such a dismal pair.

Bruce doesn’t have a string. Tony doesn’t know why and he doesn’t ask. Somethings are just private like that.

Cap’s (because Tony refuses to call him Steve, not after the ‘big man in a suit of armor’ remark) string is orange. By remembering the string around Aunt Peggy’s finger Tony knows that Cap and Peggy Carter are soulmates. Cap seems to know this too.

Tony hopes that none of them besides Thor can see the strings.

(They can’t)

~~~

Pepper and Happy get married. Tony cries at the wedding but refuses to admit it to anyone but the couple and Rhodey.

He’s just glad that at least two of his friends are happy.

(He tugs the string throughout the ceremony.)

(His soulmate never tugs back.)

~~~

Cap moves into the tower. Slowly he and Tony begin a ritual in the mornings of Cap making Tony coffee, them talking for a few minutes, and then Tony disappearing down into the workshop for hours. Cap brings him food at lunch and drags him upstairs for dinner and the occasional movie/board game night.

They become friends. Slowly but surely. Eventually Cap becomes Steve and Stark becomes Tony. Teasing begins and eye rolls become fierce.

It’s more than Tony could ever ask for.

~~~

Clint, Natasha, and Bruce eventually move in. Natasha and Clint are gone more often then not, but when everyone’s home movie night happens. Somehow they begin to form a make-shift family. It’s loud and boisterous and so, so, dysfunctional but Tony loves it. He loves them.

He still has to tug on his string every night. He has yet to get a response.

He tries to not let it bother him but it does.

~~~

It’s movie night one night and they are watching a rom com about the fate strings. Somehow they get on topic of being able to change them.

“I would just want to play god and put people together all the time.” Clint says and then proceeds to eat a handful of popcorn. Natasha rolls her eyes. Steve looks mildly horrified.

“Why would you ruin people’s lives like that?” He asks, almost scandalized. Tony snorts.

“It’s not world ending to not have a soulmate Rogers,” Tony says. “I’ve met serval people without strings and their perfectly fine and happy.”

“How would you know if someone doesn’t have strings Tony? It’s normally not something people bring up.” Clint asks. And Tony, god, Tony for some fucking reason blurts this out.

“Because I can see the strings.” His eyes widen as the other four stare at him, gobsmacked. 

“You can see the strings?” Bruce asks. Tony winces, cursing his damn big mouth. He sighs, loudly.

“Yes I can.” 

“What color is mine? Do you know who it’s connected to?” Surprisingly it’s Clint that asks that.

“You mean you don’t know?” Tony says while glancing between Clint and Natasha. He thought that the spies had figured it out. Or at least met someone who told them. The two spies  
looked at Tony and then each other. They realized it suddenly. Bruce did too.

“Oh,” Natasha said quietly. Clint stared at her, suddenly seeing her in a new light. Tony cleared his throat. 

“Well I’m going to leave the new love birds alone and I suggest that you two,” He pints at Bruce and Steve, “Do the same.” Tony then heads to the elevator.

He tugs on the string for the first time in a while.

Like always there’s no tug back. He tries to be surprised but can’t be.

Tony Stark doesn’t deserve a soulmate who tugs back.

~~~

Natasha and Clint are extremely close for the next few days. Tony’s happy for them, he really is. He wants his family to find their soulmates. He wants them to be happy.

(Maybe he wants to be happy too. But he won’t admit it to himself.)

~~~

Peggy Carter dies and Steve mourns. The orange string that Tony saw on Steve’s finger falls off. Steve mourns his soulmate

Tony mourns his aunt. 

~~~

He meets Sam Wilson. Sam’s pinkie finger has a bring the pink string tied around it. Wilson wasn’t the kind of guy he thought to have a pink string but Tony wasn’t going to judge.

Especially when he saw the same string around Prince T’Challa of Wakanda’s finger.

Tony wasn’t going to mess with that chaos.

He pulled the string hard that night. He swore he felt a tug back, but it might have been his imagination. He should start taking his meds again.

Yah, that was it.

~~~

When Tony first meets Bucky Barnes he’s on his second cup of coffee and still half asleep. Steve is standing awkwardly in the foyer of the penthouse.  
“Please Tony, we have no where else to go.” Steve says with desperation in his voice. And maybe Tony is starting to get delusional but he said yes.

Barnes had already been un-brainwashed by Wakanda but they left the arm up to Tony. The jerks. They got the easy part and Tony had to combine biomedical engineering with mechanical. Fuck his life. 

Barnes came down to lab to have Tony look at his arm and Tony sees something tied to his metal pinkie. 

It’s a red string. In the same shade as Tony’s. Tony drops his screwdriver and stares for a long moment.

“Stark, you okay?” Barnes asks with something like concern lacing his tone. Tony shakes his head and gets back to work.

“I’m fine,” He mumbles.

(He’s not fine.)

After a while of tinkering and staring at blueprints Tony asks out of the blue, “Have you ever been able to see the fate strings.” Bucky blinks.

“I used to. But then HYDRA got ahold of me and....” he trailed off but Tony knew what he meant. 

So his soulmate didn’t know he was his soulmate. Bucky Barnes was his soulmate. And he didn’t know it. Tony didn’t know how to feel about this.

(After examining his fingers Tony realized that the nerve endings were all out of whack, which is why Bucky never felt his tugs.)

(Maybe that was for the best.)

~~~

Steve and Bucky are attached at the hip. They are constantly together and happy and mushy and shit. They seem to constantly be touching. Steve takes Bucky out shows him around New York. They watch new movies in the theater while curled up next to each other. They get this look in their eyes when they are together. Like the other one is the only person in the world for them. 

Tony hasn’t seen Steve this happy since Peggy died.

Maybe this was this best thing for Tony. Maybe he just needs to let his soulmate go and forget about Bucky. Forget that Bucky was always down in the workshop asking questions and that Bucky would always bring Tony food and that Bucky was his soulmate. Tony just needed to forget.

Rhodey comes to visit one day and sees through Tony’s bullshit.

(Rhodey’s always been able to see through Tony’s bullshit.)

“Why are you using your press smile?” He asks. Tony turns to look at Rhodey from his position in front a work bench. Bucky’s new arm is in front of him with the inner workings spilled across the table. He wants to lie and say that everything’s fine and he’s happy and that everyone is fucking happy. 

Tony has never been able to lie to Rhodey. 

“Bucky’s my soulmate but doesn’t know it.” Rhodey blinks a few times but sighs. Weirder things have come out of Tony’s mouth.

(He always suspected anyway.)

He makes his way to Tony and wraps his arms around him. Tony buries his head in Rhodey’s shoulder and cries. 

He didn’t realize he had to cry. 

He didn’t realize how much he wanted Bucky to want him back.

He didn’t realize that he had fallen in love with Bucky Barnes, his soulmate, and Bucky didn’t know that Tony was his soulmate.

Tony cries a lot that night.

~~~

Tony catches Bucky and Steve kissing in the kitchen one morning. They’re pressed up against one another and are giggling between kisses. They look so happy.

Tony slams his mug down on the counter so hard that it cracks. The super soldiers look up at him only to see him retreating back to lab.

He doesn’t come out for four days.

When he does Steve and Bucky have made it official.

(Tony spent most of his time in the lab staring at the string, tugging it and praying that Bucky felt it.)

(If Bucky did he never said anything.)

~~~  
Tony avoided Steve and Bucky like the plague. Even being near the two of them Tony either want to yell and scream and throw something at them or cry. He knew that he should tell Bucky. He should at least re-tie his string to Steve’s finger. 

But something in him doesn’t. Something in him is selfish and unloving and is probably why no one he loves ever stays.

Tony Stark doesn’t deserve Bucky Barnes.

But Steve Rogers does.


	2. 2

Tony was fine. He was completely and utterly fine. Nothing was wrong and his life was together. He was completely fine with his soulmate being in love with someone else.

Completely and totally fine.

He definitely didn’t stay up late at night tugging at the red string around his pinkie that glared at him. He definitely didn’t always hope to feel Bucky tug back.

Definitely not.

~~~ 

Six months after Steve and Bucky got together they announced their engagement.

Tony tried to be happy for them, he really did.

It was just very, very hard.

~~~

Tony Stark deserves this. He deserves to be in this situation. He got Yinsen killed, he made bombs for years, he is a pain in the ass to Rhodey. He deserves this. 

Steve and Bucky love each other. They have since before the war. They are sickening and cute and happy. They are so fucking happy with each other. Tony doesn’t deserve that. He doesn’t deserve to be happy. Not after everything.

And now Steve was in front of him, pleading.

“Please Tony. You can change fate, you can re-tie the strings. I know that Bucky isn’t my soulmate but please Tony.” Steve is looking at him with those blue eyes that are just unfairly pretty.

Tony has never been able to say no to Steve.

“Fine.” Tony says through gritted teeth. Steve is about ready to thank him but Tony continues. “I’ll only do it after the wedding though.” Steve face drops a bit but he relents.

“That’s completely fair.” Steve smiles widely and runs off, presumably to tell Bucky the news.

Tony needs a drink.

~~~

Maybe the universe hated him or maybe just Loki did. The sorcerer attacked the tower, and cursed all the Avengers to be able to see the fate strings.

Maybe fate really did hate him.

Tony locked himself up in the lab and worked on projects for Stark Industries. He tries to ignore the slight tug on his pinkie finger and completely ignores his teammates pleas to come out of the lab. 

He tries to wait out the curse, he really did.

But then Loki’s hologram appeared in front of him.

“Stark,” the god shouts to get his attention. Tony jumps and looks up at the hologram. He could tell it’s a hologram due to the fact that Jarvis wasn’t alerting the Avengers. “The curse isn’t going to go away until you go and see your teammates.”

Tony groaned. “Why do you have to do this? I thought we had a thing. I thought we were buddies?!” Loki gives him a look.

“Okay maybe not buddies but we stopped always trying to kill each other! Why must you ruin my life like this!” Loki just pointed to the door. “Fine!” Tony said while sighing dramatically.

Tony made his way to the kitchen, hoping that no one was there. Sadly the entire team was there. Fuck his luck. 

“Hello. What did I miss?” Tony asked as he made a beeline to the coffee. Bucky stopped him.

“No Doll. You have to eat solid food.” Tony whined but sat down at the island. Steve started preparing a plate with Bucky helping. It was so fucking domestic that Tony couldn’t look with crying.

(What do you do when you’d soulmate doesn’t want you?)

He fiddled with his hands, not noticing Bucky getting closer with food. Suddenly a large crash was heard. Tony looked up.

Buck was staring at him, eyes bouncing between Tony’s hands and his face. The plate of food was on the floor and everyone was staring. 

“Buck?” Steve said gently, “You okay?” But Bucky wasn’t paying attention to him, he was still staring at Tony. Finally he spoke.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Tony stiffened. He had hoped and prayed to somebody, anybody that Bucky would see. That he would just go on and be happy with Steve and Tony could just pretend that his soulmate wasn’t in love with one of his best friends.

“You didn’t need to know.” Tony replied curtly.

“Bullshit,” Bucky said. His eyes were fierce but soft at the same time. Tony couldn’t meet them.

“Buck, what are you talking about?” Steve asked with worry lacing his tone.

“I’m talking about the fact that Stark has the same string as me tied around his pinkie.” Everything stopped.

Tony had never planned to tell Steve that Bucky was his soulmate. If Steve knew than he never would have let Tony switch the strings.

And Tony wasn’t going to let his soulmate be unhappy.

Even if it meant that he was.

“Well, I’m just gonna go,” Clint said and slipped off his stool and out of the room. Everyone else followed suit until it was spouts Steve, Bucky, and Tony left in the room. 

Tony sighed. “Look, I can go ahead and change the strings so that the two of you are truly soulmates. I don’t mind.”

(Liar. Tony minded a fuck ton but Steve didn’t need to know that.)

“No Tony, I’m not going to let you ruin your chance with your soulmate like that.” Steve’s face was unreadable. Tony turned to Bucky.

“Bucky, What do you want?” Bucky blinked at Tony and Steve who were staring him down.

“I-I need some time to think,” he muttered and rushed past both of them to the elevator. 

His soulmate definitely didn’t want him.

~~~

That night Tony knew. He could cut the string and re-tie it to Steve’s finger. It was perfect. There was the whole issue of Steve waking up but Tony knew that sphe has to Will it enough. He just had to want to completely change fate.

The things he does sometimes.

So here Tony was, sitting in his workshop with a pair of scissors in his right hand and his left pinkie raised. 

He was going to do this. 

He was going to give up his soulmate. Because his soulmate deserved better. Right?

His soulmate deserved better.

Definitely.

He raised the scissors to the red string, and was about to cut. The string was blood red. It was taunting him, telling him to just cut it. Stop being so weak and just cut the damn string. He twitched his fingers and almost did.

But then a metal hand stopped him. 

Bucky. Bucky had stopped him. 

Why? Tony had no idea. 

Tony didn’t deserve Bucky. 

Bucky deserved someone like Steve. Someone who was strong and faithful and brave. Steve was brave. Tony was not.

Steve would have cut the string.

“Tony, Doll, please,” Bucky murmured into his ear. Gods, it was soothing. The four nights of not sleeping caught up with Tony and suddenly he was asleep.

~~~

Tony awoke curled up in a bed that was not his own, with a super soldier at his back. He shifted slightly and a warm arm was wrapped around his waist.

“Don’t go,” Bucky mumbled. His nose was buried into Tony’s neck and Tony’s mind short circuited.

He didn’t deserve this.

He didn’t deserved to be loved like this.

Definitely not by someone as amazing and incredible as Bucky Barnes.

Tony didn’t deserve him. 

Suddenly he heard someone open the door and walk in. The door shut behind them. Tony lifted his head slightly to see Steve sitting at the foot at the massive king bed that occupied his and Bucky’s room.

“Wha?” Tony asked. Steve got up and gently kissed Tony’s forehead.

“Rest, we’ll talk later.” So Tony slept in the arms of his soulmate, because it will probably be the last time he will.

~~~

This time he woke up with a super soldier at his front and back. Bucky at the front and Steve at the back.

He shifted and Steve woke up. Bucky woke up a moment later. 

Stupid army training and it’s light sleeping thing.

“Hey doll,” Bucky said. Tony didn’t look him in the eye as he whispered.

“I’ll go ahead and re-tie the string. It’ll be easier now that your both awake.” That seemed to fully wake up Bucky and Steve.

“What? No doll,” Bucky said his brow furrowed.

“Tony, we were going to ask you to, um, well...” Steve said fumbling for the right words.

“We were going to ask you to join us, and our relationship.” Bucky finished for him.

Tony was expecting a lot of things. That was not one of them. But at the same time he felt a pull on his pinkie finger. He looked down to see the beginnings of a second string forming.

“That’s never happened before,” he muttered. Bucky and Steve stared at him.

“Doll, do you want to join us?” He asked, gently tilting Tony’s head up to meet his. Steve tightened his hold on Tony’s waist. Tony would be lying he didn’t get a large fluttering feeling from it.

He thought about it. His gut wanted him to. Tony did want to join, but he didn’t want to be a burden to Steve and Bucky.

“I-i want to but I don’t want to be a burden to yo—,” Tony was cut off by Bucky firmly placing his mouth onto Tony’s.

The kiss was perfect. It was a mix of tender but demanding. Tony melted into Bucky and kissed back with all he had. 

“Tones, you could never be a burden to us,” Steve whispered to Tony as he kissed along Tony’s neck.

And maybe Tony was incredibly stupid and desperately wanted to love both of them. Tony didn’t deserve either one of them.

But he fate had other plans.

And if Tony Stark was anything, he was a man of fate,

“Yes,” He said in a murmur. “I would love to join you two.”

The two super soldiers smiled and then got back to work. 

~~~

Fate had a weird way of working out. It takes some time and sometimes a push (or a large shove) to get moving.

But once the super soldiers and their mechanic were together, nothing could separate them.

Not even fate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for supporting this story! I really appreciate it!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first fan fic on this website I really hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Don’t worry there is a second chapter and it will be up whenever I feel like.


End file.
